KFC Double Down

Mmm fried chicken sandwiched between bacon and more fried chicken.

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Creepy Face

I saw this and it made me wonder. How many creepadoodles are there in the world?
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Meet American Mantra

American Mantra is a classic example of DIY ingenuity. Comprised of singer Austin Radford, Alex Balash on guitar, Wesley Brown on drums, and Dustin Beck on bass, the Dallas-based band recorded their EP with Geoff Rockwell (Forever The Sickest Kids), and self released it. Singer Austin Radford says, "My overall point is that I'm willing to wait for a label that loves what we're doing as much as we are... in the mean time we'll do it ourselves." Austin continues, "We've been self booking all our tours. We're playing SXSW this month and the Cornerstone Music Festival in July." They also have a tour planned in March with The Classic Crime.

When asked what genre they fit into, Ausitn describes their sound as 'Thought Rock'. "Everything we do is thought out. We try not to compare ourselves to other bands because right now in the music industry, it seems like every band is walking directly in the footsteps of another band," Austin muses. When it comes to influences, American Mantra lists Glassjaw, Incubus, Minus The Bear, Muse, and Saves the Day as their favorites.
To experience the sound of American Mantra, listen to the track 'Pugnaphilia',

More songs, videos, and 2010 tour dates can be found at: http://www.myspace.com/americanmantra


For more information:
http://www.americanmantra.com/
http://www.myspace.com/americanmantra
http://www.twitter.com/americanmantra
http://www.purevolume.com/americanmantra

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The Best Show Needs Help

The Best Show On WFMU, which has been going fo the last eleven years, needs help. It is a comedy and rock goldmine, riddled with anecdotes and plenty of making fun of people from around the world. The show is 100% listener funded, and is in dire need of donations. The Best Show has featured comedians, actors and musicians, ranging from Zach Galafianakis to Julian Barratt from The Mighty Boosh.

Tonight's show will feature the People's Host, Tom Scharpling, Ted Leo and Jon Wurster . The Best Show promises comedy, rock and "Three hours of mirth, music and mayhem!"
Click this link to listen to the live stream and donate tonight: THE BEST SHOW ON WFMU PLEDGE DRIVE: TUESDAY, MARCH 2nd, 8 PM EST TO 11 PM EST

For more information: Call 800-989-9368 or pledge online at http://www.wfmu.org/ BETWEEN 8-11 PM EST ON MARCH 3rd! Everybody who pledges 75 bucks or more automatically gets The Best Show On WFMU’s MIRTH MUSIC AND MAYHEM: A PRIZE PACK IN THREE PARTS. (Taken from http://www.scharplingandwurster.com/)


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Chatroulette

Anyone out there for Chatroulette? At http://chatrouletteimages.com/, people have shared the scariest of images from Chatroulette. If anyone has been on Chatroulette, you know what kind of freaks are out there. Expect to see something like the picture below!
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Songs To Put In Your Ear

Leeching off others is a genius way to find new music. They do all the work, you utter a simple "What's that?" to pave the way into musical bliss. They are not all new songs, but are some of my favorites right now.



Track list:
1. Eisley - Memories (acoustic)
2. CARIBOU - Odessa
3. IAMX - Chemical Princess
4. Max Tundra - Will Get Fooled Again
5. Midnight Juggernauts - Into The Galaxy
6. Hot Chip - Ready For The Floor
7. The Von Bondies - C'mon C'mon
8. Voxtrot The Start of Something
9. Minus The Bear - Knights
10. Dirty Pretty Things - Bang Bang You're Dead
11. The Kills - Black Balloon
12. Aesop Rock - Coffee ft. John Darnielle
13. White Rabbits - Percussion Gun
14. Mew - Repeaterbeater
15. Glory- Chuck Ragan
16. Yo Majesty - Club Action [Stanton Warriors Remix]
17. Frank Turner - Photosynthesis
18. Cesars - Jerk It Out
19. Threatmantics - Big Man
20. Raconteurs - Level
21. The Almost - Hand Grenade
22. Owl City - Fireflies
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Grandma Knife Fight

I guess this is what happens when the Baby Boomers take over. Knife fights for all.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/8534295.stm


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Oh Snap, the In-Laws are Coming

Today I had a stroke of genius. I had no idea that something so simple could turn into such a great solution. There is clutter all over the house and not enough storage to put it anywhere. Bins and boxes, toys, clothes, computers, electronics, and art supplies are just scattered about haphazardly and I do not have enough storage to put it anywhere to make the rooms look tidy.

While I was shoving a box into a shelf in the closet, a roll of Christmas wrapping paper from last year hit me in the head. That was the moment it all came together. I ran into the garage and looked for boxes. I wrapped shoe boxes and hat boxes and filled them with the clutter that had been such an eyesore for so long. I decorated the boxes with ribbon and made sure to wrap the tops separately so they could be used as storage and strewn about the house as merry Christmas decorations.

I know it is a temporary fix, but my house has gone from cluttered to Christmasy in an afternoon, and no one knows that the "presents" all over the house are actually storage bins that bring a smile to my face and a little piece of sanity.
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On the Education of a Semicolon

I have always been confused by the usage of the elusive semicolon. Brother to the colon, sister to a dash, and a distant backwoods cousin to a comma, the semicolon sits somewhere in between. There are times I wish I knew how to use it better. I finally decided to face my fear and do some brushing up on my grammar. I found this website and it totally explained all my woes. It taught me to treat the semicolon more like a "super comma" and make it work a redheaded stepchild.

Taken from essortment.com, this is the holy grail to unlock the powers of the semicolon:

The semicolon is a simple piece of punctuation, much easier to work with than the comma because it follows fairly clear rules. If you learn the two simple rules explained here, you'll rarely go wrong. It has two main uses, which are both easy to identify. You use it to connect two independent clauses together into one sentence, and you use it as a super-comma. You can use it in a few other unusual situations, but they come up rarely, and there are other ways to handle those situations. Learn them if you want to be perfect, but if you learn to recognize the two primary uses, you will do fine as semicolon user. To Connect Two Independent Clauses Independent clauses are series of words that could stand alone as complete sentences. When you have two otherwise complete sentences that you want to connect to form one long sentence, use a semicolon between them. Example: This could be a complete sentence; this could be another one. If you put a comma where that semicolon is, you will have committed a "comma splice," which is a very nasty grammar error indeed. Sometimes, the second clause doesn't really look like a complete sentence, so you must watch closely. Example: Twelve workers started the project; only five remain. There is, however, one exception that can cause you a problem. You don't use a semicolon to connect two complete sentences if there's a conjunction between the clauses (and, but, etc.). In that case, use a comma. Example: This could be a complete sentence, and this could be another one. Adding that single word, the conjunction "and," means that you must change that semicolon into a comma. To Serve as a Super-comma When you have a series of three or more items that normally would be separated by commas except that each individual item already has a comma in it, you use the semicolon between items. Example: We visited Pago Pago, Western Samoa; Curitiba, Brazil; and St. George, Utah. Example: The trio's birthdays are November 10, 1946; December 7, 1947; and October 31, 1950. Example: Her favorite players are Steve Young, a quarterback; Jason Buck, a defensive end; and Ty Detmer, another quarterback. As in the examples above, citing places, dates, and people's names with descriptions, are three very common situations where you'll see the super-comma usage. Minor Uses A few relatively infrequent situations also call for a semicolon. When you list three or more items tacked onto the end of a complete sentence preceded by a connector word such as "that is," "for example," or "for instance," you may use either a comma or a semicolon. Either of the following two example sentences is correct. Example: Be sure to watch out for grammar errors; for instance, comma splices, run-on sentences, and dangling modifiers. Example: Be sure to watch out for grammar errors, for instance, comma splices, run-on sentences, and dangling modifiers. You may also use a semicolon to connect two otherwise complete sentences even if they are connected by a conjunction, if the first sentence already has one or more commas in it. It's optional, but may on occasion make the sentence more understandable. Example: When I eat alone, I leave a mess; but that's not the worst of it. Both the minor uses noted above are optional, so if you can remember only the first two situations above, you'll never go wrong by putting a semicolon where it doesn't belong.

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When God Calls, It Will Be On An Iron

I think that the woman who found the face of Jesus on an iron has nothing on the face of Barney I found on my morning pbj sandwich.

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I need to invent a question mark, exclamation point hybrid for glorious, epic proclamations that also happen to be questions. For example, "Aren't Funyuns the most phenomenal snack to exist on earth!?!" The !?! is simply not cutting it. I want a symbol with more swirls. 
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This is the last time I'll mention it, but balloonboy what the f@#$?

He's got jokes, kids! When a 6 year-old child can bring social media to a standstill, someone out there is doing something right. The only irony is that Falcon hid in a box for numbers of hours in the attic, but couldn't keep his little trap shut for two seconds on Wolf Blitzer. Parenting fail. Thank you baby Jesus for comedians.

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Dear blog, mama's back

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Tender Box On Tour WIth She Wants Revenge and Kill Hannah

For all of those lucky enough to catch the über mini-tour of the fall, congratulations! From September 28th to October 4th, The Tender Box will be touring with She Wants Revenge and Kill Hannah.

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Love Granades at Cinespace

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502 Server Error: The Day Gmail Failed

Gmail. My personal email. I knew this would happen one day. I should have learned my lesson after watching Fight Club. It got me thinking about what I would do if I lost all my cell contacts, and every centilla of important digital information was completely wiped out too, like in my email, Facebook, Myspace, blog, and if my computer spontaneously combusted on top of that.  It would take weeks to rebuild all the contacts, and all of the personal data, for all intensive purposes, had not been backed up and was ALL on my computer, so it would be irreplacable.  I can take this a step further by imaging all cell service being suspended (who has a land-line these days?) and that all lines of communication were down period. What would I do?

If all forms of industrialized communication just ceased to exist and all I had were the people around me, would I be happy? I think so. Most of the people I am closest with are within a hundred mile radius, so It would not be that hard to reconnect with them. There are obvious exceptions, of course.  I like where I live, what I do and the friends I have. If there were a zombie attack, these people would be right by my side with stolen shotguns, blasting music through the streets and fighting to the death!

It is a tad bit lame that Gmail going down led me to ponder this, but it posed a question that I hadn't thought of in a while. As I was thinking about how to end this last bit, "Do I Have Your Attention,"  by The Blood Arm started playing. "Let me know you're still alive," are lyrics in the song that made it so appropriate and relevant when it came on.  My attention has to be on me to make sure I am on the path to bliss. I am always where I need to be. The Kooks couldn't have said it any better.






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Facebook ADD

I have a severe case of Facebook ADD today.

What is this, you ask? The inability to complete simple tasks like sending emails, working, going to the store, working out, paying attention to the cats, watching a tv show from start to finish because I CAN"T STOP CHECKING FACEBOOK!

Whilst on Facebook (which I like to refer to as "THE TRAP"), attempts to type messages, update status, have a coherent chat with anyone are thwarted by oooh I'll just click that...and that...and this and open 5 new windows and then have 5 windows open where this is going on, then i can't find the window with my status update or the message I was typing. Then, when I find the right window with my message or status and see that someone comments on my status or changes their status, or see wtf ads pop up (like "love fishing") or something on the page catches my eye like a new chat, etc, I will then CLICK FAIL my way out of the message or status update and they are gone for good. I then have to try to remember the staggering genius that I was typing and my humor fails me every time to produce a sub-par replica of "the ghost of status past". Multiple curses ensue! Sometimes I even yell the word "curses" as an exclamation to my lack of focus!

I look at Facebook like the man lurking in a dark, hot-trash-smelling alley wearing a trench coat laden with stolen watches. I know know know better, but I can't resist. I will rip myself off and ignore important time and tasks. Alas, not today. It has taken about 30 minutes, countless clicks to resist, 14 emails written and read, 6 chats, and a general questioning of my sanity to type this note.

Does anyone hear me on this?

Oh, and there is a post-script:

Dear Facebook ADD Fariy,

I am going to hunt you down and KILL YOU!
Run and hide, because I am going outside.

Love,
April
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Images That Please Me

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Words of a Gentler, Softer Variety

Mostly inspired by Facebook advertising and general writer's block, I have collected a small vault of phrases that please me when I read them. If I am in a bad mood, I look to my vault and smile sheepishly. Among the gems today (my ironic internal dialogue in parentheses) are:

Bail out single moms (Big house style)

Meet young, single, black professional males (What types of professionals - escorts or businessmen?)

Vulnerably housed (As in a polite way to say that you are a hobo and live in a lean-to next to a dumpster behind a 7-11)

He's single! Are you? (Like surprise, you better dump that pizza delivery boy and jump on this gem of a man, lest you smell like peperoni for the rest of your life! He is most likely gainfully employed as a boiler room telemarketer!)

As I stated before, it tastes like Flintstones vitamins and urine  (I am a genius and this is a line in one of my old articles)

My wife found out about you today (Whoopsies to that little tramp!)

PS - I only roll with hobbits... (Preferential treatment given to mythical beings! Check sanity, then proceed...)

Who's searching you? (This ad has a girl doing jazz-hands. I am certian that being searched and jazz hands are two very mutually exclusive things.)

I got my revenue check from being on To Catch a Predator (Dude, there's an ice cream truck for sale on Ebay RIGHT NOW!)










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Mean Muggin

Last night I got mugged. I thought that it would never happen to me because I am not a prime mugging target. I am 5' 10", possess ninja-like self defense skills, and was at a show to see Bicasso last night. I went outside on the balcony of this club to have a well-deserved Camel Crush and to get some air (it was haute in theeeereeee) and then it went down. Someone grabbed my purse and threw it over the balcony, jumped and ran with it.

What kind of people have the audacity to do this? Obviously now I know that anyone can be a victim of mugging and no one is safe. I was not harmed, but replacing everything is going to hurt my wallet (the one that got slolen), especially my makeup!

On the flip side, I have reequipped myself with some high-tech defense gear and the next person who tries to mess with we will take a lovely visit to TASER TOWN!  I guess I will bring a smaller handbag out next time too, and warn all those ladies out there to watch their bags like fear mongered American tourists in Rome. Caio!
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Pleasure

In diving to the bottom of pleasure we bring up more gravel than pearls.
~ Honore de BalzacShare
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Manstration

Really

Shhhhh

There is a new tactic in town to spread the word for music venues and up-and-coming bands. Instead of the traditional littering of fliers on car windshields, bands and venues are turning to impromptu "secret shows" to drum up buzz. This trend is also used to keep clubs at a low capacity when an artist decides he wants to play a free show last minute and keep the number of people at a minimum. Either way, secret shows serve their purpose to either keep it down or turn it up to eleven!

The basic principle behind the show is that no one in Los Angeles can keep a secret show secret. It is the ultimate Jedi mind trick for the indie generation.

There is a distinct formula for success of an event like this, with the primary rule of the secret show being that the venue and/or band's name must always remain unspoken. Usually there is a slim amount of time to promote the secret show, so having ninja-like rhyming skills is also a must. To quote a direct secret show invite, "We're going to be playing at a venue you all know and love that is named after a snake and rhymes with 'hyper boom' and begins with a V and is on Sunset Blvd." Very cryptic.

How does one get invited to or hear about a show if it is secret? This is where social media comes into play. Get a Facebook, become a fan of bands you like, talk to people who regularly go to shows, even go alone alone. You will be invited out to secret shows and enjoy the glory of being part of a revolution. Plus, secret shows are usually free and make you the coolest one out of all your friends.

RAWK

Jesus Appears

http://www.buzzfeed.com/rchemel/jesus-image-in-burger-grease-4c/

The Killing Moon

It seems cliche going to the beach at midnight and taking pictures with my SLR in the moonlight. So hipster of me. The entire time I was thinking about Ian Curtis and Echo and the Bunnymen. So, here's to the moonlight!

No, I will not party in your band's van

When it comes to lurking, no one had a better corner on the market than Myspace. In the last few months, Myspace has become a ghost town in the sense of real people. Unless you are in a band, Facebook is the new Myspace. If you are a promiscuous individual, Facebook is the new Myspace. If you are in a band and want to have intelligent people over the age of 18 as fans of your music, Facebook is the new Myspace. If Nietzsche were still alive, he would say that Myspace is dead. I agree!

Twitter fail

So today I thought that because of all the trash I talked about Comic-Con in a friendly, ironic hipster banter, that my Twitter follower count had suddenly dropped. I had just hit the c-note of followers milestone, only to be struck down by the inevitable spam dragon to smote 30+ of my followers. Not bad considering people I know have done worse.

Um, yeah

In the last hour, I have searched Google for...

Creepy demon olde tyme music
Bodega witch doctor
Your friendly neighborhood shaman
Yahtzee
French new wave
Hedonistic gangster lair

Bodega, Bodega, Bodega!

My friend Kyle is one of those dark and twisty types, so for his birthday last year, my mission was to find the perfect birthday trinket. I scavenged every dark corner of creepy little basement book stores, record shops, thrift stores, e.t.c., to find a piece of Kyle. I finally decided to look one last place before I resorted to shoplifting, something Kyle has a predilection for and would find especially pleasing as a gift in itself.

The most memorable time that Kyle and I have spent together was at Knott's Berry Farm. Before we went on any of the rides, he bee-lined it straight into the cheesiest Looney Tunes gift shop he could find. I smoked while he went inside, but before I could get three puffs in, he emerged with a candy necklace and a pen that affectionately said "Kyle." I didn't think there was enough time for any sort of currency to have been exchanged, so we walked briskly to blend in with the rest of the tourists as much as our skinny hipster asses possibly could. That day solidified our friendship and sparked our constant competition to outdo one another intellectually.

I entered the bodega looking for something random and bizarre. Bonus points for all the signs being in Spanish and Yahtzee for the curandero booth within the bodega, which was ironicly situated next to the green peppers. Atop the glass case of laughably magical trinkets I saw it. It was a black candle of death. Much like a Jesus candle, but more demon, and less Jesus. It was beautiful. I had to have it, and it took 10 minutes, very bad piecemeal spanish with the produce man, a curandera and the butcher (don't ask), and $5 to obtain it. It was precious, and reeked of evil.

When he opened the illy fashioned plastic bag and ribbon wrapping, Kyle was wide-eyed. He ended up loving it! I asked him on his birthday yesterday what ever happened to it, and he said it melted in his trunk. Demon disco MUWAHAHAHA!

Merlin!

Slaying the dragon of lethargy, one sip at a time.

No wonder this bombed :( Oh noes Merlin!

Batshitcrazy

If a girl goes batshitcrazy in the forest, will anyone be there to hear her?

June Gloom Playlist

Kiss Kiss- Machines
MuteMath- Spotlight
Jack Penate - Tonight's Today
Discovery- Osaka Loop Line
Peter, Bjorn and John - Lay it Down
Paris, Texas - Bombs Away
Say Anything - Spidersong
Fad Gadget - Saturday Night
The Waves- I'm So Bored
Ladyhawke - Magic
The Editors - Munich
The Blow - True Affection
Alexisonfire- It's Your Funeral Mama

What I am listening to right now

Down%20Unda Playlist by **%7eApril%7e** on MySpace Music - Play Playlist Songs & Download Tracks

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Wal Mart Bingo

Tonight, at 3 a.m., it's on Wal Mart!

Barrel Drink, Anyone?

When your favorite flavor is a color, and makes you cough when you drink it...

We got soda, purple stuff, SUNNY D! Affectionately know as 'Little Hugs, or quarter juice,' these barrels of goodness take me back to a time before PBR had a glimmer of meaning to me. I remember going to the grocery store with my mom when I was younger, and for some reason the little barrels of artificially-flavored, high fructose corn syrupy tastiness called out to me. They were novel, neon colored, barrel shaped, and tasted like the liquid inside one of those wax bottles you bite the caps off and drink. My mother, after much protest, would eventually give in to buying me a few quarter juices (even though they contained less than 1% juice) because I would usually threaten to knock over one of the aisle displays in defiance if the barrels were not placed in the cart. I then had my own little bottle of forbidden wonderment, slowly peeled the foil off and escaped into sugar coma Nirvana.

Later in life, I have come to notice that all the kids that had barrel drinks in their lunch boxes at school are also the craziest raging alcoholics I know, and that's a tall order in LA. Coincidence? Is there a link between barrel drinks and alcoholism? They just look so innocent.

Creepadoodles Lives Here

A Denver apartment tenant "found" a two-way mirror in his shower (details on how long it took after moving in were not made clear) and alerted the police Monday after discovering a six-inch hole in the wall leading to a maintenence closet. Secured with a combination lock, the viewing room, er closet, linked directly to the two-way mirror, which was at first mistaken for an oversized shaving mirror. The tennant and his two female roommates immediately moved out to an undisclosed location. When questioned, other tennants stated numerous occasions where the janitor had been sighted enjoying an abnormal amount of time in the closet by candlelight. Upone discovery, the closet was said to have been littered with empty bottles of Cicso and Jergen's lotion. The creepadoodle apartment janitor remains at large in his modified ice cream truck.

Hobo King?

Does he exist or not?

I do not think that word means what you think it means!

“Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.” -Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

Hookers Love Twitter

Hookers Love Twitter

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Twitter, hooker hotbed?

I broke down and got a Twitter account yesterday. One thing that became immediately apparent was the amount of lady creepers, who I had no idea existed, already following me. Who are these women? Pod people, La Femme Nikita, Stepford wives, or not people at all? Did I just not get the memo that, when taking Russian in college, I would be graciously enrolled for a lifetime membership into the Publisher's Clearing House harlot hit squad? It seems like the more Twitter friends (in triple digits) these innocent females have without pictures, the greater the focus is on nefarious business time related activities. I'm talking socks off, Wednesday night, every night. Except, in most circumstances, the second warm body and heartbeat are nowhere to be found without the company of mace and a bouncer named Bruno.

On the rare off chance there is a fine lady lurking you out of nowhere on Twitter, ladies and gentlemen, run or prepare to get your wallet out. Otherwise, be very suspect of sexy sirens with names that have more than three x's or k's. No mother is that cruel, but if just one snuk past dear Mamulya, out of Russia, and into your life via coy, innocent Twitter flirtation, good luck! In Soviet Russia, woman roofies you! Should have used Craigslist!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN0oDnoc3-c

People Are People, But What Kind of Excuse is That?

Obviously, people have their quirks. My mother can't go one meal without putting sauce on something, anything. Some people, however, have just taken it too far. These are the people for whom the term 'beat down' was created. The reasons why a sock full of quarters might just come in handy while waiting in that line at Starbucks for an obligatory morning coffee. These people will not be inside - no! They will be lurking around the corner asking for a sip of your coffee and a drag of your cigarette, but just a drag. These are subhumans, and they live along side all of us. They have no shame and are far from all being hobos. They sit next to us in traffic, the subway, and will even squeeze next to you in your semi-vacant booth at the mall while you try to think of ways to stay awake at work until 5 after gut busting all that Panda Express. They have no shame and this rant is just what a Thursday morning warrants. http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/the-different-kinds-ofpeople-that-there-are/Content?oid=1206006

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Good RAWK

My Profile Playlist by **~April~**{TheDingoThatAteYourBaybee} on MySpace Music - listen to songs & purchase MP3s

New music check out the aural pleasure!


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