Mostly inspired by Facebook advertising and general writer's block, I have collected a small vault of phrases that please me when I read them. If I am in a bad mood, I look to my vault and smile sheepishly. Among the gems today (my ironic internal dialogue in parentheses) are:
Bail out single moms (Big house style)
Meet young, single, black professional males (What types of professionals - escorts or businessmen?)
Vulnerably housed (As in a polite way to say that you are a hobo and live in a lean-to next to a dumpster behind a 7-11)
He's single! Are you? (Like surprise, you better dump that pizza delivery boy and jump on this gem of a man, lest you smell like peperoni for the rest of your life! He is most likely gainfully employed as a boiler room telemarketer!)
As I stated before, it tastes like Flintstones vitamins and urine (I am a genius and this is a line in one of my old articles)
My wife found out about you today (Whoopsies to that little tramp!)
PS - I only roll with hobbits... (Preferential treatment given to mythical beings! Check sanity, then proceed...)
Who's searching you? (This ad has a girl doing jazz-hands. I am certian that being searched and jazz hands are two very mutually exclusive things.)
I got my revenue check from being on To Catch a Predator (Dude, there's an ice cream truck for sale on Ebay RIGHT NOW!)
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Bail out single moms (Big house style)
Meet young, single, black professional males (What types of professionals - escorts or businessmen?)
Vulnerably housed (As in a polite way to say that you are a hobo and live in a lean-to next to a dumpster behind a 7-11)
He's single! Are you? (Like surprise, you better dump that pizza delivery boy and jump on this gem of a man, lest you smell like peperoni for the rest of your life! He is most likely gainfully employed as a boiler room telemarketer!)
As I stated before, it tastes like Flintstones vitamins and urine (I am a genius and this is a line in one of my old articles)
My wife found out about you today (Whoopsies to that little tramp!)
PS - I only roll with hobbits... (Preferential treatment given to mythical beings! Check sanity, then proceed...)
Who's searching you? (This ad has a girl doing jazz-hands. I am certian that being searched and jazz hands are two very mutually exclusive things.)
I got my revenue check from being on To Catch a Predator (Dude, there's an ice cream truck for sale on Ebay RIGHT NOW!)
Share
|
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